I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
