Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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