What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
