so that wasnt chicken after all
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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