Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Me too!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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