Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
