you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If I die, sorry about rent.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
