Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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