If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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