I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
