i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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