youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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