I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm like, not good at living.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
