Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
