Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
