I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
