My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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