How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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