bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
