literally had 100 drinks last night.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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