Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We are all done wearing pants today
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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