OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
