quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
