drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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