Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just google imaged poop.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
