If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
