Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
