respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
