Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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