honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My vagina just recognized that song.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
