He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
