some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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