They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
