best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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