You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
