some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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