dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I have demons in me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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