i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
