lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
