After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
