So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
How external is "for external use only"?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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