Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
