I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
