I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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