i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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