Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
