Screwed.edu
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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