I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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