You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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