I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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